Dirty jokes plz? Gotta be funny. Or a good clean one (but has to be REALLY funny, and I'd prefer a dirty joke)?
Question: Yeah, a dirty joke that's good. A clean one's fine, but it has to be REALLY GOOD. And I've already heard the pickle cucumber one, btw.
Best Answers: Dirty jokes plz? Gotta be funny. Or a good clean one (but has to be REALLY funny, and I'd prefer a dirty joke)?
heres one: A guy gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The guy looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the boy bus driver says to the guy, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you." The guy of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you." The guy decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says. The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The guy agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun. After the guy finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the guy! " The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!
Reminds me of the old joke about the old senile lady, went into a nursing home, and played cop to all the old guys from her wheelchair.... But I can't remember the joke.
Who else likes to do this when their driving and is it funny? It's gotta be so annoying to other drivers lol!
Does anyone know any funny jokes? french or english jokes ....not any other languages...lol...?
One day a hunter walks into a rifle shop to buy a new rifle and the store clerk asks him what type of rifle woud he like. He looks around and finds one and tell the clerk that he wants it. The clerks tells him I'll sell you this scope for $150 and the hunter ask the clerk wats so special about this scope. The clerk replies my house is 75 yards away up that hill and you can look through this scope and see whats going on in the house. The hunter looks through the scope at the clerks house and starts to laugh the clerk ask him what so funny the hunter replied I see two naked people in your house having sex the clerk snatches the scope and looks through it. Oh My God he replies thats my wife and my boss the clerk by now is pissed off and takes out two bullets and said I'll give you the scope and rifle free if you shoot my wife head off and my bosses dick off the hunter takes the scope and the two bullets he then looks through the scope and tells the clerk I just need one bullet for that.
hohoho, someone's gonna make santa's naughty list! haha just kidding!this is brilliant! can you email it to me too? (Don't bother to censor the vulgar words. type out the entire word!)HAHAHAHA, NOW I'LL NEVER BE ABLE STOP LAUGHING!!!! That's the funniest ever! I'd give you 1 million stars if i could, but I can't no i'll give you 1. And im gonna be your fan now!!! EDIT:Hey, I already am your fan(no wonder too)! Keep on posting these jokes...PLEASE!!! i bow to your superiority!
three men are walking through the woods when they are captured by the umagi tribe. they are brought infront of the cheif who tells them "you are tresspassing! If you want to keep your lives go to the woods and bring me 10 of one type of fruit!" When the first man returns with ten apples, the cheif tells him "If you put all ten apples up your *** without making a face i will let you live." the man got to three apples when he started crying and he was killed. when the second man returns with 10 grapes, the cheif tells him the same as the first. the second man shoves 9 grapes up his *** but then starts laughing uncontrollably for no apparant reason and is killed. when in heaven the first man said to the other "you only had one more grape to go. why did you laugh?!" the second man replies "I couldn't help it, i saw the third man returning with 10 pinapples!"
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?" The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!" ======================================... Blonde Car Accident One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder. Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny. The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!" ======================================... : What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? A: Run! She's got a hand grenade in her mouth. Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense? A: I'll tell you tomorrow. Q: Why can't the blonde make ice cubes? A: She lost the recipe. Q: How do you hit a blonde so she will never know it? A: With a thought. Q: Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering? A: The noise gave her a headache. Q: How does a blond know if she's on her way home or on her way to work? A: She opens her lunch box to see if there is anything in it. Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? A: Knock on the door. Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month? A: The instructions stated, "good for up to 20 pounds". ======================================... A blonde, a brunette and a redhead go to heaven. There the find hundred steps and god tells them that they have to climp each step and on each step he will tell them a joke and if they laugh they have to start over. First the brunette ngoes she starts laughing on the 1st step. Next the redhead goes she reaches till the 25th step and starts laughing. The blonde goes next. SHe reaches till the 99th step and bursts out laughing. When she goes down the brunette and redhead ask her why did she laugh on the 99th step. The blonde says that i understood the 1st joke!
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