What should I do about my daughter acting out?
Question: She has been acting out a lot lately in school. She's only five years old and in kindergarten but her teacher says she doesn't follow directions and she even tells her no at times and fights other children. I recieved a call today saying that she wasn't allowed to attend the Christmas party at the end of the day today because she threw her milk at another child during lunch and if I wanted to I can come and get her early since she's just going to be sitting in the office during the party anyway. But it's not just at school either she also acts this way during her gymnastics practice and when she's outside playing with kid around the neighborhood and she tries to fight my younger daughter who is 3 years old. She has never acted this way before and I'm wondering if she knows about me and my husband getting a divorce. We weren't going to tell her or her sister until after Christmas but I get a feeling that she knows something is wrong. But what can I do about her? I don't believe in spanking!
Best Answers: What should I do about my daughter acting out?
what do you do when she misbehaves? some kids could really care less about a timeout or a lecture. some kids need something more severe to get it into their brains that this is serious and they need to behave. for the incident today, take her home and have her sit in her room for the rest of the day, no toys, no playing, no treats, no tv, no fun. she can spend the time writing a letter of apology to the girl who she threw the milk at, which she will be read to the girl the next day in class. talk to her and show her that this is unacceptable, ask her how she would like it if you went and got a carton of milk and dumped it on her head right now. if she shows that she regrets her action, then move on, if she gives some snotty remark, punish her for longer. experiment with different punishments to see what works best for her, like standing with her face to the corner may be more effective then a simple timeout, taking away all of her toys may be more effective then taking away a few. i know that you say that you dont "believe" in spanking, but maybe its time to see if maybe its actually something that she responds well too. its been proven that in the toddler, early childhood, stages, many children are physical learners, they dont understand when you say "hey that hurts", they dont really see the depth of their actions when you just put them in a timeout, but they understand that a bad physical action leads to a bad physical reaction, so if she does something like hurt another child, then she may be the type to learn from a swat on the butt, to say "hey, stop that, hitting hurts, you see how it feels", dont be closed minded, look into different forms of punishment to find the one that works best for her.
READ (check your libraries and bookstores): Psychology: -Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) Acting business: -Acting is Everything: Gold Edition-Judy Kerr -How to Be a Working Actor-Mari Lyn Henry and Lynne Rogers -Self Management for Actors-Bonnie Gillespie -How to Get Arrested-J. Wallach Michael and Paul Thurwachter -An Agent Tells All-Tony Martinez -One Less Bitter Actor: The Actor's Survival Guide-Markus Flanagan -So You Want to Be in Showbusiness?- Steve R. Stevens -Acting Truths and Lies (purchased at www.info4actors.com) Acting: -Book the Job-Doug Warhit -Intent to Live-Larry Moss -Acting for the Camera-Tony Barr -Acting in Film-Michael Caine -Acting Class: Take a Seat-Milton Katselas Method Acting: -Art of Acting-Stella Adler -Sanford Meisner on Acting-Sanford Meisner -A Dream of Passion-Lee Strasberg -Actor's Art and Craft-William Esper -The Power of the Actor-Ivanna Chubbuck -No Acting Please-Eric Morris -Respect for Acting-Uta Hagen -Challenge to the Actor-Uta Hagen -You Can Act!-D.W. Brown -Strasberg’s Method-Lorrie Hull Comedy -8 Characters of Comedy-Scott Sedita -The Sitcom Career Book-Mary Lou Belli Improv -Anything by Viola Spolin -Steve Book on Acting: Improv Auditioning/Cold Reading: -How to Get the Part Without Falling Apart-Margie Haber -Audition-Michael Shurtleff -Secrets to Successful Cold Readings-Glenn Alterman
at school you should go and collect her and make her write a letter of apology or maybe make the girl a card to say sorry then have a firm chat about why we dont throw milk in peoples faces if she acts u when with neighbourhood kids bring her inside and tell her she cannot play with people if she cant do it nicely an she cant stay indoors for the rest of today if she fights with her sister tell her that we do not fight with people and remove her form the situation maybe a time out and then she can go and give her sister a hug and say im sorry also maybe have a chat about friends and how we act with them write a list of friendship rules together eg no hitting friends always say im sorry and then keep a copy where she can see them so she remembers the rules
When you guys came back to the U.S. to live, what documents did she present? Did you tell the inspector that she was born in Canada? When she was born in Canada, how old were you? Was her father Canadian? How long did you live in the U.S. before you moved to Canada in 1996? I guess you didn't register her birth at a U.S. consulate in Canada, huh? I mean, eh? If you could answer the questions above, someone could answer your question.
Take her into a room and talk about her feelings. Those teachers haven't been seeing any disturbances in her relationship with the other pre-schoolers? There is often a need to dig deeper to find what's REALLY happening. She might be taking after someone she knows. She might see you fighting (if you do) with Daddy. She MAY be just craving attention, and you may need to give her a little more. I think at the time being you should defintitly keep a close eye on her.
Personally, I'd have screwed the barrel of my .44 Special into his ear and asked him if he felt lucky today. After he soiled his britches I'd have notified the police and had him prosecuted.
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