What do you think of my story so far? ?
Question: As I stare out my window, sheets of rain fall from the sky. I am fascinated by the shear volume of water. ‘There are so many raindrops.’ I focus in on one until it hits the ground, and then another. ‘It’s similar to school...there are so many students, and I’m only one.’ I’d been sitting here for more than 10 minutes, just staring and comprehending. I have a lot of opinions, ideas, and thoughts. However, no one hears them. As I battle through school each and every day, I’m constantly reminded of how I don’t fit in. My name is chanted, calling to my attention that my name is odd. The popular girls laugh along, snickering and whispering behind my back. I have just turned fourteen, and I couldn’t be more miserable. I try not to let it get to me. I try to ignore it. It just won’t go away. Something inside of me just wants to let go, to show everyone who I am and be proud of myself. To accomplish something worthwhile. I don’t want to be friends with these people, for they’ve always been the root of my misery. But for some reason, I want to show them that I’m not just some shy, quiet girl...that I’m capable and important. And another factor added onto my dismal existence is that I’m not thin. I hate my body. As I see the other girls, all with close fitting shirts and skinny jeans, I grow envious. I want my life to change, to change drastically. I live day by day, just pretending that nothing is wrong. At the end of the day, however, I count through everything that’s wrong with me. My name. My body. My teeth. My hair. My clothes. Nothing is right. I cry myself to sleep many nights, wishing only to be wanted. Popular. Outgoing. But I know in the heart of hearts that it will never happen. I have no motivation whatsoever-no one to cheer me on or be my friend. Sometimes I think, ‘how would the people who had teased me so brutally feel if I were to die? What if something horrible happened to me, because of them? And then I realize how pathetic I am, and wallow in self pity. I am such a baby. This is supposed to be the story of a girl who will later battle an eating disorder and then turn her life around. Don't tell me it's too depressing because that's supposed to be the mood. (This is roughly based off of my life, because I'm teased, but I'm a pretty happy person) I had originally written it in the past tense, but I wanted to convey how the character felt at that point in time. I hope it's not confusing...I'll look over it and make sure it's easy to understand. Thanks for pointing that out! And thank you for the compliments!
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